Before You Schedule the Tour
Military schools invest significant resources in every cadet—admissions staff, teachers, TAC officers, facilities. They want students to succeed. And they've learned, through decades of experience, which students thrive and which struggle.
This isn't about whether your child is "good enough." It's about whether they're ready—right now—for what military school demands. Some students need another year to mature. Some need a different intervention entirely. And some are ready today.
Use this checklist honestly. It could save you application fees, prevent a failed placement, or confirm that your child is exactly where they need to be.
The Physical Readiness Assessment
Military school includes physical training. Not optional. Every day.
Can your child:
Handle sustained physical activity?
- [ ] Walk/jog a mile without stopping
- [ ] Do at least 10 push-ups (modified is okay)
- [ ] Participate in PE class without medical restrictions
- [ ] Stand for extended periods (formations, ceremonies)
Manage physical discomfort?
- [ ] Function when tired or sore
- [ ] Push through mild discomfort
- [ ] Recover from physical exertion
- [ ] Handle heat and cold during outdoor activities
Meet basic health requirements?
- [ ] No conditions that prevent physical activity
- [ ] Stable on current medications (if applicable)
- [ ] Cleared for sports participation
- [ ] Able to manage any chronic conditions independently
The truth about fitness:
Your child doesn't need to be an athlete. Most military schools accept students at varying fitness levels and build them up over time. The PT program is designed to improve fitness, not assume it.
But they do need to be capable of physical activity and willing to be pushed. A student with a genuine medical limitation that prevents PT may not be a good fit. A student who is simply out of shape? That's what military school fixes.
Red flag: If your child has a condition that genuinely prevents physical activity (not just preference), discuss it with admissions early. Some schools can accommodate; others cannot.
The Emotional Readiness Assessment
This is where most struggles happen—not physical training, but emotional adaptation.
Can your child:
Tolerate discomfort without crisis?
- [ ] Handle frustration without explosive reactions
- [ ] Accept disappointment and move forward
- [ ] Manage stress without shutting down completely
- [ ] Process criticism without spiraling
Function away from home?
- [ ] Has successfully spent nights away from family (camp, sleepovers)
- [ ] Can manage homesickness without it becoming debilitating
- [ ] Doesn't require constant parental reassurance
- [ ] Has some experience with independence
Accept authority from non-family adults?
- [ ] Can take direction from teachers
- [ ] Accepts correction without major conflict
- [ ] Respects authority figures (even when frustrated)
- [ ] Doesn't require parental intervention for every conflict
Manage without constant digital connection?
- [ ] Can go periods without phone/social media
- [ ] Has interests beyond screens
- [ ] Won't spiral without constant texting with friends
- [ ] Can entertain themselves without devices
The truth about emotional readiness:
Most cadets struggle emotionally in the first 2-4 weeks. This is normal and expected. The question isn't whether they'll struggle—it's whether they have the baseline capacity to get through the hard part.
A student who has never spent a night away from home may need to practice first. A student who cannot accept any criticism without exploding needs to develop that skill before military school—not at military school.
Red flag: If your child has active mental health issues (untreated anxiety, depression, self-harm), military school is not the answer. See our guide on military school vs. therapeutic programs.
The Attitude Assessment
This is the "deal-breaker" category.
Does your child:
Have any openness to this?
- [ ] Has expressed some willingness (even reluctant)
- [ ] Can articulate at least one potential benefit
- [ ] Isn't actively fighting you every step
- [ ] Is willing to try, even if skeptical
Want something for their future?
- [ ] Has goals, even if vague
- [ ] Cares about college, career, or personal development
- [ ] Isn't completely apathetic about life
- [ ] Has interests or passions (anything)
Show capacity for growth?
- [ ] Has improved at something before (sport, skill, academics)
- [ ] Can reflect on past mistakes (even occasionally)
- [ ] Responds to challenge sometimes
- [ ] Has shown resilience in the past
The truth about attitude:
Complete buy-in is rare. Most teenagers being sent to military school by their parents aren't thrilled about it. That's okay.
What matters is whether there's something to work with. A reluctant student who can be won over is different from a student who has completely given up.
The deal-breaker: If your child has absolutely zero interest in their own future, refuses to engage with any adult, and is actively determined to sabotage any intervention—military school won't have the tools to reach them. This isn't about strictness. It's about the limits of what structure can achieve with a completely disengaged young person.
Honest question: Has your child expressed, even once, any version of "I wish things were different"? That's enough to start with.
Age and Grade Considerations
Middle School (Grades 6-8)
Advantages:
- More malleable, habits not yet cemented
- Longer time to benefit from the program
- Easier transition before high school social complexity
Considerations:
- Emotional maturity varies widely at this age
- Homesickness can be more intense
- May need more support during adjustment
Best for: Students who need early intervention before patterns solidify. Students with ADHD who need structure during critical developmental years.
High School (Grades 9-12)
Advantages:
- More emotionally mature (usually)
- Can better articulate their experience
- More focused on college preparation
- Leadership opportunities available
Considerations:
- Patterns may be more established
- Less time to benefit if starting late
- May resist more strongly if forced
Best for: Students who need structure for college prep. Students seeking leadership development. Students who've recognized they need a change.
Post-Graduate Year
Advantages:
- Student is choosing this themselves
- Extra year of maturity before college
- Focus on athletics or academics
- Bridge between high school and college
Considerations:
- One year is short to create change
- Student must be highly motivated
- May feel "out of place" if much older than classmates
Best for: Athletes needing additional development. Students who need one more year of preparation. Young people who've matured and want to reset.
The Family Readiness Assessment
Your child isn't the only one who needs to be ready.
Can your family:
Commit to limited contact during adjustment?
- [ ] Follow the school's communication protocols
- [ ] Not rescue your child at the first sign of struggle
- [ ] Trust the process during difficult weeks
- [ ] Refrain from excessive texting/calling
Support without sabotaging?
- [ ] Present a united front (both parents, if applicable)
- [ ] Not undermine the school's authority
- [ ] Avoid making promises to "come get them"
- [ ] Handle your own emotions about separation
Engage appropriately?
- [ ] Attend parent weekends and events
- [ ] Communicate concerns to the right people
- [ ] Follow proper channels (not going around staff)
- [ ] Partner with the school, not against it
The truth about family readiness:
Military school only works if parents let it work. The first 3-4 weeks will be hard. Your child will call crying. They'll say they hate it. They'll beg to come home.
If you rescue them at that moment, you've taught them that struggle leads to escape—the opposite of resilience.
Read our guide on the parent's emotional journey before making your decision. Your readiness matters as much as your child's.
The Honest Scoring
Go through each section and count:
Physical Readiness: ___ / 12 boxes checked Emotional Readiness: ___ / 12 boxes checked Attitude: ___ / 9 boxes checked Family Readiness: ___ / 9 boxes checked
Interpreting Your Score
Mostly checked (80%+ in each section): Your child is likely ready for military school. Proceed with campus visits and applications. They may still struggle—everyone does—but they have the foundation to succeed.
Partially checked (50-80%): There may be areas to work on before military school, or your child may need additional support during the transition. Discuss specific concerns with admissions. Consider whether a gap year or preparation program might help.
Sparsely checked (<50%): Your child may not be ready for military school yet. This isn't a judgment—it's an honest assessment. Consider:
- Therapeutic intervention if mental health issues are present
- Time to mature if age is a factor
- Outpatient support to build skills first
- Other interventions before military school
What If They're Not Ready?
If your honest assessment says "not yet," you have options:
Build skills first:
- Outdoor programs that develop resilience
- Local sports or activities that build discipline
- Therapy to address underlying issues
- Gap year programs for older teens
Wait and revisit:
- Some students aren't ready at 14 but are ready at 16
- Maturity develops at different rates
- A year of preparation can make the difference
Consider alternatives:
- Structured day schools (not boarding)
- Therapeutic programs if clinical needs exist
- Military-style summer programs as a trial
Talk to professionals:
- Educational consultants can assess fit
- School admissions officers are usually honest about readiness
- Therapists can identify underlying issues
The Right Readiness, Not Perfect Readiness
No student arrives at military school fully prepared. The programs are designed to develop discipline, resilience, and character—not to require them on day one.
What you're assessing is whether your child has the foundation to build on. The raw material for growth. The capacity to struggle, adapt, and eventually thrive.
If they do, military school can be transformative.
If they don't—yet—the honest answer is to build that foundation first, then consider military school when they're ready.
Next Steps
If your child is ready, learn how to evaluate military schools during your visit. Understand what daily life looks like for cadets. If you're unsure about clinical needs, read military school vs. therapeutic programs.